“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7, NKJV)
God has always had a plan for marriage. From the very beginning He made man and woman to live as one. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, NKJV) When husbands and wives follow His design, the home is strong and God is pleased.
The apostle Peter wrote specific instructions for husbands in 1 Peter 3:7. Notice the word “likewise.” It points back to what he had just said about wives. Wives are told to be in subjection to their own husbands so that even unbelieving husbands “may be won by the conduct of their wives.” (1 Peter 3:1, NKJV) Husbands have their part to play as well. God does not ask one without asking the other. Both must do their part for the marriage to please the Lord.
First, husbands must “dwell with them with understanding.” It means living together with real knowledge of your wife. A husband is to know his wife inside and out as much as he can. He is to understand her needs, her feelings, and her God-given role. He is to study how to be the kind of man God wants him to be. The Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25, NKJV) That kind of love takes understanding, time, and listening, not just hearing. A husband who lives with understanding does not demand his own way all the time just for the sake of being the head of the home. He thinks about how his words and actions affect his wife.
Second, husbands are to give “honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel.” The wife is not less important. She is not less valuable in the eyes of God. She is the “weaker vessel” in the same way a fine piece of china is weaker than a metal cup. She is to be treated with care. She is to be protected and valued. God made her different from the husband, and that difference is good. The husband is to honor her because she is his partner. He is to lift her up, not put her down. “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33, NKJV) Honor and respect go together in God’s plan.
Third, husbands and wives are “heirs together of the grace of life.” They stand side by side before God. Both need the blood of Jesus. Both are saved the same way. Both are going to heaven together if they stay faithful. Neither is more important in the eyes of God. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28, NKJV) In marriage they share the same hope. They pray together, work together, and encourage each other on the road to eternal life.
Finally, Peter gives a warning: “that your prayers may not be hindered.” If a husband does not treat his wife right, his prayers will hit a wall. God will not ignore how a man treats the woman he married. A husband cannot mistreat his wife all week and then expect God to hear his prayers on Sunday and answer them the way he wants! God cares about the home. He wants husbands to lead with love, not with harshness or selfishness.
This is not hard to understand. God made us able to obey Him. We do not have to follow the world’s way of marriage. We can follow God’s way. When we do, our homes will be happier, our wives will feel safe and loved, and our prayers will rise straight to the throne of grace.
Let every husband think about these things. Dwell with your wife with understanding, give her honor, and remember you are heirs together of the grace of life. Do this, and God will bless your marriage and hear your prayers. “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6, NKJV)
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